Smoking Etiquette

  1. The person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark up the joint and get first hits…
  2. If someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement on his rolling skills…
  3. If someone starts hogging the bowl and starts using the excuse that it’s okay for him to hog it since it’s his weed, this is definitely not cool.
  4. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in. (if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person and rag on him
  5. If someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or the person is just a retard then they must relinquish control of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit.  –this does NOT mean the person who lights gets free hits… this privilege tends to get abused (“hey lemme light it for you…”)
  6. If someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO the bowl and blow all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person cant smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)
  7. If you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some munchy food you may have lying around.. don’t be cheap with your food if you have food…
  8. If someone who’s smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him some… (dry mouth is not fun)
  9. Converse of (7); if you ask for a sip, don’t take a large gulp
  10. If smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messed up the joint. Continue reading…

31 Life Lessons

1. Trust your gut. Really.

If you think he likes you, you’re probably right. If you think he’s cheating, you’re probably right. If you think she’s going to be your new BFF, (this time with feeling!) you’re probably right.

2. Sunscreen. Always.

SPF 15 indoors, SPF 30 outdoors. I’ve been wearing sunscreen everyday since I was 19 and I still get carded. I think this actually has more to do with the bouncers hitting on me, but I’d like to share the credit with my good friend Oil of Olay daily moisturizing lotion with SPF.

3. If you’re lying in bed worrying about it, get up and write it down.

If I don’t do this, my night will quickly devolve into cyclical thoughts of doom and anxiety. Just get out of bed, write down the thing that you’re worried about, write down a few ideas to deal with it and then go the eff back to sleep.

4. Processed carbohydrates and sugars are yucky.

It’s not hard to switch to wholewheat bread and noodles or substitute honey/maple syrup/raw sugar for the white stuff. It’s yummy and you’ll feel heaps better!

5. Maintaining friendships (and making new friends) is an active process.

Stop waiting for them to call you! Think of something fun to do, call your friends and go do it. Also, stop sitting in your apartment, devotedly wishing that you knew more cool people. Surprisingly, this will not get you any closer to making new friends. Go places where like-minded people hang out, talk to new people at parties, initiate.

Continue reading…