Deshoda

1. The person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark up the joint and get first hits…
2. If someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement on his rolling skills…
3. If someone starts hogging the bowl and starts using the excuse that it’s okay for him to hog it since it’s his weed, this is definitely not cool.
4. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in. (if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person and rag on him
5. If someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or the person is just a retard then they must relinquish control of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit.  –this does NOT mean the person who lights gets free hits… this privilege tends to get abused (“hey lemme light it for you…”)
6. If someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO the bowl and blow all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person cant smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)
7. If you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some munchy food you may have lying around.. don’t be cheap with your food if you have food…
8. If someone who’s smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him some… (dry mouth is not fun)
9. Converse of (7); if you ask for a sip, don’t take a large gulp
10. If smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messed up the joint. Read the rest of this article »

1. Trust your gut. Really.

If you think he likes you, you’re probably right. If you think he’s cheating, you’re probably right. If you think she’s going to be your new BFF, (this time with feeling!) you’re probably right.

2. Sunscreen. Always.

SPF 15 indoors, SPF 30 outdoors. I’ve been wearing sunscreen everyday since I was 19 and I still get carded. I think this actually has more to do with the bouncers hitting on me, but I’d like to share the credit with my good friend Oil of Olay daily moisturizing lotion with SPF.

3. If you’re lying in bed worrying about it, get up and write it down.

If I don’t do this, my night will quickly devolve into cyclical thoughts of doom and anxiety. Just get out of bed, write down the thing that you’re worried about, write down a few ideas to deal with it and then go the eff back to sleep.

4. Processed carbohydrates and sugars are yucky.

It’s not hard to switch to wholewheat bread and noodles or substitute honey/maple syrup/raw sugar for the white stuff. It’s yummy and you’ll feel heaps better!

5. Maintaining friendships (and making new friends) is an active process.

Stop waiting for them to call you! Think of something fun to do, call your friends and go do it. Also, stop sitting in your apartment, devotedly wishing that you knew more cool people. Surprisingly, this will not get you any closer to making new friends. Go places where like-minded people hang out, talk to new people at parties, initiate.

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1. The feeling you first wake up but don’t have to get out of bed yet.
2. Getting goosebumps from music/movie.
3. When you’re congested as fuck and then suddenly your nostrils open up.
4. Winning a prize/contest
5. A description that’s way too accurate for this time of the morning and that “vacated bowels” feeling you get after.
6. Thinking the cop behind you with his lights on is going to pull you over but then he passes you and you’re fine
7. Crushing my enemies, seeing them drive before me, and hearing their lamentations of their women.
8. Eating a good meal
9. Getting my hair shampooed/cut at a salon/barber.
10. When you finally get rid of that thing stuck in your teeth.

No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don’t want to die to get there, and yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now, the new is you. Right now, the new is you. But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it’s quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important have the courage to follow your own heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Author: Steve Jobs

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

Author: Gary Provost

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud

• Focus on the user and all else will follow.
• It’s best to do one thing really, really well.
• Fast is better than slow.
• Democracy on the web works.
• You don’t need to be at your desk to need an answer.
• You can make money without doing evil.
• There’s always more information out there.
• The need for information crosses all borders.
• You can be serious without a suit.
• Great just isn’t good enough.

1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle. Read the rest of this article »

• absquatulate: to flee, abscond
• abstemious: restrained in consumption of food and alcohol
• balderdash: nonsense
• ballyhoo: commotion, hype
• bindle stiff: hobo
• bodacious: remarkable, voluptuous
• borborygmus: sound of intestinal gas
• cahoots (in the expression “in cahoots with”): scheming
• callipygian: possessing a shapely derriere
• cantankerous: irritating, difficult
• carbuncle: pustule
• caterwaul: to wail or protest noisily Read the rest of this article »